i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
only you would photoshop your dick
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
