If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
