Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dicks are not precious.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize