There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
