i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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