Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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