Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
