dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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