i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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