Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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