She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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