I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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