I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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