you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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