Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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