At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize