would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
