sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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