Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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