please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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