dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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