my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize