I want to walk on stilts...naked
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
