do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
