There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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