Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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