She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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