Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
