She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
only you would photoshop your dick
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
