I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
