I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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