And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
