"it" just moved
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
