all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
as a side note pls kill me
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