Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
