I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
