Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
