I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
