in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
