Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
