Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
