guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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