So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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