It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
