Just cropdusted the office
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
