the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
