I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
