i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
