is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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