After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
