I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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