I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
