Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's get the cat blown out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
