Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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