T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
