I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
