census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
