I want to have your abortion
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
