I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
