I don't think brook has ever known best
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
