this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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