What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
