clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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