I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize