oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
