Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
