Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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