I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
