So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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