STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize