idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
